appiness is the ultimate dichotomy. It is both exhilarating and yet elusive. People move heaven and earth to get it. But is happiness truly what they seek? Is it honestly what they need?
After all is said and done, human beings need the basic elements to survive: food, water, clothing and shelter. Education and employment directly contribute to our wellbeing. Humans are also social creatures. Even the most introverted among us craves connection to at least one other human. And yet in our increasingly technological age, on the heels of a historic global infectious disease crisis on a planet with just over 8 billion people, the human race is loneller today than it has ever been. The 2023 U.S. Surgeon’s General Report declared loneliness as the new epidemic.
As a physician, I was trained to think of health in large part as the absence of disease. Medicines, surgeries, and other interventions were designed and prescribed in an effort to treat and sometimes cure pathologies such as tuberculosis, lupus, and brain cancer. But seldom was I taught that social, environment, and emotional factors are just as key to wellbeing—if not more—than traditional, Western medical therapies.
The reality is that humans are wired for connection well before we become fully-formed humans. The urge to connect is in our DNA. It is as strong as our need for food and shelter, and it starts in utero. Studies show that the human brain undergoes dramatic development during the prenatal period. When a mother talks or sings to her baby in utero, the latter feels safe and secure. By contrast, premature babies who face stressors in the neonatal intensive care unit (e.g. intubation) have been found to have abnormalities in brain function. Humans clearly need nurturing connections from the earliest stages of development.
As an addiction medicine specialist, I was struck by another pandemic–related finding: drug overdoses skyrocketed. This phenomenon is not unrelated to the rise in loneliness. The latter, along with unprecedented job– and food–insecurity, uncertainty, frustration, school closures, and halted social events (concerts, sports, theater, parties, galas, etc.) all serve as risk factors for risky substance use, addiction, overdose, and death.
Food, shelter, school, and jobs are most definitely essential to our overall wellbeing. But they are insufficient. To truly assess happiness, we need to measure the quantity and more importantly, the quality of our relationships. One need not have 20 pseudo–close acquaintances but rather two to three high–quality, trusting, and authentic friendships rooted in empathy and selflessness. It is the connections we have with our brothers, our mothers, our teachers, our high school friends, and next door neighbors that guide us through life’s devastations, from divorce to death. Strong relationships release endorphins, the happiness hormone, and help us feel elation and comfort. If we genuinely want to measure happiness, then let’s replace boats and BMWs with family and friends. Sounds like a cliche, right? Cliches are as old as time. As my late father always loved to say, ‘A friend in need is a friend indeed.’ Let’s foster a world of happiness by creating meaningful connections with our fellow sisters and brothers around the world.
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Human connection at the crux of happiness, wellbeing
Photo by Noah Buscher on Unsplash.
March 21, 2024
Humans are consistently seeking happiness, but in the digital age are lonelier than ever. Yet the urge to connect with other humans is in our DNA—to best assess happiness, we should be measuring the quantity and the quality of our relationships, writes Dr. Lipi Roy.
H
appiness is the ultimate dichotomy. It is both exhilarating and yet elusive. People move heaven and earth to get it. But is happiness truly what they seek? Is it honestly what they need?
After all is said and done, human beings need the basic elements to survive: food, water, clothing and shelter. Education and employment directly contribute to our wellbeing. Humans are also social creatures. Even the most introverted among us craves connection to at least one other human. And yet in our increasingly technological age, on the heels of a historic global infectious disease crisis on a planet with just over 8 billion people, the human race is loneller today than it has ever been. The 2023 U.S. Surgeon’s General Report declared loneliness as the new epidemic.
As a physician, I was trained to think of health in large part as the absence of disease. Medicines, surgeries, and other interventions were designed and prescribed in an effort to treat and sometimes cure pathologies such as tuberculosis, lupus, and brain cancer. But seldom was I taught that social, environment, and emotional factors are just as key to wellbeing—if not more—than traditional, Western medical therapies.
The reality is that humans are wired for connection well before we become fully-formed humans. The urge to connect is in our DNA. It is as strong as our need for food and shelter, and it starts in utero. Studies show that the human brain undergoes dramatic development during the prenatal period. When a mother talks or sings to her baby in utero, the latter feels safe and secure. By contrast, premature babies who face stressors in the neonatal intensive care unit (e.g. intubation) have been found to have abnormalities in brain function. Humans clearly need nurturing connections from the earliest stages of development.
As an addiction medicine specialist, I was struck by another pandemic–related finding: drug overdoses skyrocketed. This phenomenon is not unrelated to the rise in loneliness. The latter, along with unprecedented job– and food–insecurity, uncertainty, frustration, school closures, and halted social events (concerts, sports, theater, parties, galas, etc.) all serve as risk factors for risky substance use, addiction, overdose, and death.
Food, shelter, school, and jobs are most definitely essential to our overall wellbeing. But they are insufficient. To truly assess happiness, we need to measure the quantity and more importantly, the quality of our relationships. One need not have 20 pseudo–close acquaintances but rather two to three high–quality, trusting, and authentic friendships rooted in empathy and selflessness. It is the connections we have with our brothers, our mothers, our teachers, our high school friends, and next door neighbors that guide us through life’s devastations, from divorce to death. Strong relationships release endorphins, the happiness hormone, and help us feel elation and comfort. If we genuinely want to measure happiness, then let’s replace boats and BMWs with family and friends. Sounds like a cliche, right? Cliches are as old as time. As my late father always loved to say, ‘A friend in need is a friend indeed.’ Let’s foster a world of happiness by creating meaningful connections with our fellow sisters and brothers around the world.
