In Washington, the term “power couple” has become all too common. Identifying the movers and shakers often revolves around the obvious, and ignores the subtleties that people not intent on notoriety can have on society. From clearing space on their lawn for political helicopters to hosting one of the most significant interfaith Iftar dinners during Ramadan, Ray and Shaista Mahmood have made their quiet mark on Virginia, the United States, and across the world. But as we all know, it is the woman who runs the house and moves mountains. On the banks of the Potomac, the Diplomatic Courier sat down with Shaista Mahmood for an intimate conversation about just how a young immigrant from Pakistan grew into the influential woman she is today.
The conversation began with a discussion about Shaista’s background and how she came to call the Commonwealth home. With parents from India, Shaista’s family moved from Lahore to Peshawar to Kabul with the father’s hotel business until Shaista went to college at 16 years old and later received her degree in psychology. She had no idea that a family friend—indeed the son of her father’s friend living in Washington, DC—would one day ask her parents for her hand in an arranged marriage. By the time Shaista was 17, she and Ray were engaged. The Mahmoods’ strong emphasis on family was very evident in those early days. Though Shaista had many offers of marriage, her mother must have been on Ray’s side: “he used to call me in Pakistan...because it was arranged there was not much interaction. He used to call my mother and [ask] ‘how is she doing, how is everything?’ Sometimes my mother gave it to me—‘okay you can talk to him,’ but most of the time she talked to him,” laughed Shaista. Ray’s father would also write Shaista’s mother to proudly speak of his son’s start in America and ask for patience during the long engagement. With a life savings $5000, Ray purchased a gas station in a bad part of town—now the affluent area of Del Ray—that would allow him to apply for and receive a green card in the 1970s.
Soon after his father was diagnosed with lung cancer, Ray and Shaista married in Pakistan after a three year-engagement. Attempting to expedite her travel to the United States and leave with her new husband, Shaista applied for a tourist visa instead of an immigration visa. With her hands stained with henna from the wedding, Shaista was denied and her former Foreign Service father-in-law was able to issue the parental “I told you so.” Soon though, her papers were in order and she moved into a small two-bedroom apartment in Belle Haven, Virginia. “We were really quite happy in that apartment,” though Shaista added that Ray was working very long hours, and she missed her parents’ protective environment. Her husband’s furniture did not help her acclimate either: “when I saw his sofa, it was horrible…I said ‘I have to get rid of this sofa.’” In the process of finding better furniture, Shaista and Ray dropped into a model townhouse and ended up buying their first home. Rather than just an excuse to get rid of his couch, this life choice proved decisive. Two weeks later, Ray’s father passed away and the family moved into the new home. It was at this time that Ray realized he needed to make more money to support so many people, entering the real estate business by taking classes at night and partnering with a retired U.S. Army Colonel who mentored him through this new venture. During this time and around the birth of the couple’s first child, “he used to bring me here to Mount Vernon—he said one day if we can afford it, you know we’ll buy a house here,” Shaista remembered. Real estate became their blessing.
Outside the home and their now two babies, the surrounding neighborhood was a little intimidating for Shaista who was shy in her younger years. “When I came here, I didn’t make many American friends…I was so busy in my home with my kids and of course his family…my comfort level was with the Pakistani friends more at that time.” Around this time, Ray and Jim Moran, now a Congressman, became friends. Apparently, Congressman Moran liked Pakistani food. More importantly, Congressman Moran inspired the Mahmoods to get involved in the wider community through politics. With their next home, Shaista interacted with the neighbors more, attended parties, and has no complaints of any racism or prejudice. Her children, however, were a little more concerned with cultural expressions: “my son said ‘take this [nose piercing] out, the kids are asking,” and I said, no, I like it. Today I see so many women are wearing one.” Beyond jewelry, Shaista and her family were making other adjustments at this time in America: “I don’t think Americans are racist; I think it is sometimes different, but you just need to have a comfort level to each other. When I was learning from them, they were learning from me. It was both ways. And then we realized in the 80s that we need to get more involved.” Their successive involvement with hotels in Old Town Alexandria and political candidates is well-documented.
Though they had made $1 million by the time Ray was 30 years old, family still came first and Shaista was more concerned with educating her children with a private approach to religion. Finding the local mosque’s teachings to be different than she preferred, Shaista hired an in-home Qur’anic tutor, but ran into an interesting predicament posed by her eldest son: “Mom, I’m learning in Arabic and I don’t know the meaning, so why should I learn in Arabic? If I want to learn the Qur'an, I’ll learn in English.” Shaista agreed and raised her children to focus on first being good people. In her words, “human beings are more important than religion.” This theme recurs across Shaista’s work: “We have to learn to live with each other because what we believe—the religion—is so personal. It should be between you and your God.”
And indeed, this refrain continued into the years leading up to September 11th as she and her husband attempted to grow roots in Virginia and get good people elected. Al Gore’s helicopter landed on their yard for an event they were hosting; meanwhile, Susan Allen, wife of former Senator George Allen, introduced herself in the very American fashion of knocking on their front door after moving into the neighborhood. In fact, it was Mrs. Allen who encouraged Shaista to do more to support women-to-women dialogue and educate each other about religion, which is addressed later in this article. Then some years later, Shaista watched the television as the second plane hit the World Trade Center. “Somehow you feel being Muslim, you feel somehow it has something to do with you. You somehow feel guilty about it,” Shaista solemnly reflected. In the days after September 11th, Shaista’s depression kept her in the house for a week and she honestly expected that no one would come to a political dinner party they had planned for later in the week. Not only did everyone show up, but they wanted to know more about the Mahmoods’ religion and to understand why the atrocities could happen. She did not hold back with her guests and was firm that suicide is haram—forbidden in the Quran: “I don’t understand what kind of Islam they are protecting.” She added: “I believe there are more good people than bad, the one percent is hijacking us. […] If moderates can get together will sit together and work together, we can solve this extremism issue which is in every religion.” From September 2001, she went back to learn the Quran in English like her son so she could better answer questions about Islam from Americans. By far, the biggest lesson to emerge was that the only way humans will survive is through interfaith connections.
Prior to September 11th, the Mahmoods held Iftar dinners each year for their Muslim friends. Then, they were invited by Karen Hughes to the U.S. Department of State for a reception and the idea for an interfaith Iftar with an imam, rabbi, and a priest was born. Shortly after this opening of their home, the Mahmoods went through a difficult time—Shaista was diagnosed with melanoma. She and Ray would travel to most holy of places in the Islamic world, including Mecca, to pray for her health. Upon their return to the United States, they were rudely detained by TSA in a narrative that seems all too common for people with Muslim names. The following week the Mahmoods had the opportunity to share their experience with then-Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff, cautioning that what they went through would not be good for the American children of Muslims who might take offense. The following year, Chertoff was the feature speaker at the Iftar dinner.
This year on July 27th, the Chertoffs joined the Mahmoods yet again to welcome various faiths to the banks of the Potomac. As the clock struck 8:24 p.m., the call to prayer was sung by Imam Mohamed Magid, the President of the Islamic Society of North America (ISNA). Following an invitation largely orchestrated by the women, His Excellency Ambassador of Israel Michael Oren was the special guest. In a room full of politicians, corporate representatives, and even CNN’s Wolf Blitzer, Ambassador Oren spoke on the importance of community. Since the Mahmoods have begun this tradition, the Departments of Defense, Homeland Security, State, and even the Embassy of Israel have hosted interfaith Iftars.
Shaista’s educational work is not just motivated by religious tolerance. She is a powerful supporter of children and women’s rights. After a friend introduced her to Aschiana, a non-profit organization for street children in Afghanistan, Shaista hosted the first Aschiana fundraiser. In a single evening, they raised $270,000. One young woman, now a successful entrepreneur, was deeply inspired, and wrote a $50,000 check on the spot, recalling her upbringing as a street child. Also on the educational front, Shaista sits down with anyone who wants to listen to discuss Muslim women. She has gathered Ambassadors’ wives to casually interact and talk in a Muslim women’s dialogue, inspiring others to host and discuss issues on the Syrian-Israeli border. After several of these, Shaista was able to convene the Turkish and Israeli’s Ambassadors wives during a tense diplomatic moment: “I believe woman to woman, it is very easy to talk.”
In Shaista’s immaculate kitchen with sweeping views of the water sits a baby’s high chair. Political events will come and go, but Shaista is always ready for family.
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From Lahore to Mount Vernon: A Conversation with Shaista Mahmood
September 17, 2013
In Washington, the term “power couple” has become all too common. Identifying the movers and shakers often revolves around the obvious, and ignores the subtleties that people not intent on notoriety can have on society. From clearing space on their lawn for political helicopters to hosting one of the most significant interfaith Iftar dinners during Ramadan, Ray and Shaista Mahmood have made their quiet mark on Virginia, the United States, and across the world. But as we all know, it is the woman who runs the house and moves mountains. On the banks of the Potomac, the Diplomatic Courier sat down with Shaista Mahmood for an intimate conversation about just how a young immigrant from Pakistan grew into the influential woman she is today.
The conversation began with a discussion about Shaista’s background and how she came to call the Commonwealth home. With parents from India, Shaista’s family moved from Lahore to Peshawar to Kabul with the father’s hotel business until Shaista went to college at 16 years old and later received her degree in psychology. She had no idea that a family friend—indeed the son of her father’s friend living in Washington, DC—would one day ask her parents for her hand in an arranged marriage. By the time Shaista was 17, she and Ray were engaged. The Mahmoods’ strong emphasis on family was very evident in those early days. Though Shaista had many offers of marriage, her mother must have been on Ray’s side: “he used to call me in Pakistan...because it was arranged there was not much interaction. He used to call my mother and [ask] ‘how is she doing, how is everything?’ Sometimes my mother gave it to me—‘okay you can talk to him,’ but most of the time she talked to him,” laughed Shaista. Ray’s father would also write Shaista’s mother to proudly speak of his son’s start in America and ask for patience during the long engagement. With a life savings $5000, Ray purchased a gas station in a bad part of town—now the affluent area of Del Ray—that would allow him to apply for and receive a green card in the 1970s.
Soon after his father was diagnosed with lung cancer, Ray and Shaista married in Pakistan after a three year-engagement. Attempting to expedite her travel to the United States and leave with her new husband, Shaista applied for a tourist visa instead of an immigration visa. With her hands stained with henna from the wedding, Shaista was denied and her former Foreign Service father-in-law was able to issue the parental “I told you so.” Soon though, her papers were in order and she moved into a small two-bedroom apartment in Belle Haven, Virginia. “We were really quite happy in that apartment,” though Shaista added that Ray was working very long hours, and she missed her parents’ protective environment. Her husband’s furniture did not help her acclimate either: “when I saw his sofa, it was horrible…I said ‘I have to get rid of this sofa.’” In the process of finding better furniture, Shaista and Ray dropped into a model townhouse and ended up buying their first home. Rather than just an excuse to get rid of his couch, this life choice proved decisive. Two weeks later, Ray’s father passed away and the family moved into the new home. It was at this time that Ray realized he needed to make more money to support so many people, entering the real estate business by taking classes at night and partnering with a retired U.S. Army Colonel who mentored him through this new venture. During this time and around the birth of the couple’s first child, “he used to bring me here to Mount Vernon—he said one day if we can afford it, you know we’ll buy a house here,” Shaista remembered. Real estate became their blessing.
Outside the home and their now two babies, the surrounding neighborhood was a little intimidating for Shaista who was shy in her younger years. “When I came here, I didn’t make many American friends…I was so busy in my home with my kids and of course his family…my comfort level was with the Pakistani friends more at that time.” Around this time, Ray and Jim Moran, now a Congressman, became friends. Apparently, Congressman Moran liked Pakistani food. More importantly, Congressman Moran inspired the Mahmoods to get involved in the wider community through politics. With their next home, Shaista interacted with the neighbors more, attended parties, and has no complaints of any racism or prejudice. Her children, however, were a little more concerned with cultural expressions: “my son said ‘take this [nose piercing] out, the kids are asking,” and I said, no, I like it. Today I see so many women are wearing one.” Beyond jewelry, Shaista and her family were making other adjustments at this time in America: “I don’t think Americans are racist; I think it is sometimes different, but you just need to have a comfort level to each other. When I was learning from them, they were learning from me. It was both ways. And then we realized in the 80s that we need to get more involved.” Their successive involvement with hotels in Old Town Alexandria and political candidates is well-documented.
Though they had made $1 million by the time Ray was 30 years old, family still came first and Shaista was more concerned with educating her children with a private approach to religion. Finding the local mosque’s teachings to be different than she preferred, Shaista hired an in-home Qur’anic tutor, but ran into an interesting predicament posed by her eldest son: “Mom, I’m learning in Arabic and I don’t know the meaning, so why should I learn in Arabic? If I want to learn the Qur'an, I’ll learn in English.” Shaista agreed and raised her children to focus on first being good people. In her words, “human beings are more important than religion.” This theme recurs across Shaista’s work: “We have to learn to live with each other because what we believe—the religion—is so personal. It should be between you and your God.”
And indeed, this refrain continued into the years leading up to September 11th as she and her husband attempted to grow roots in Virginia and get good people elected. Al Gore’s helicopter landed on their yard for an event they were hosting; meanwhile, Susan Allen, wife of former Senator George Allen, introduced herself in the very American fashion of knocking on their front door after moving into the neighborhood. In fact, it was Mrs. Allen who encouraged Shaista to do more to support women-to-women dialogue and educate each other about religion, which is addressed later in this article. Then some years later, Shaista watched the television as the second plane hit the World Trade Center. “Somehow you feel being Muslim, you feel somehow it has something to do with you. You somehow feel guilty about it,” Shaista solemnly reflected. In the days after September 11th, Shaista’s depression kept her in the house for a week and she honestly expected that no one would come to a political dinner party they had planned for later in the week. Not only did everyone show up, but they wanted to know more about the Mahmoods’ religion and to understand why the atrocities could happen. She did not hold back with her guests and was firm that suicide is haram—forbidden in the Quran: “I don’t understand what kind of Islam they are protecting.” She added: “I believe there are more good people than bad, the one percent is hijacking us. […] If moderates can get together will sit together and work together, we can solve this extremism issue which is in every religion.” From September 2001, she went back to learn the Quran in English like her son so she could better answer questions about Islam from Americans. By far, the biggest lesson to emerge was that the only way humans will survive is through interfaith connections.
Prior to September 11th, the Mahmoods held Iftar dinners each year for their Muslim friends. Then, they were invited by Karen Hughes to the U.S. Department of State for a reception and the idea for an interfaith Iftar with an imam, rabbi, and a priest was born. Shortly after this opening of their home, the Mahmoods went through a difficult time—Shaista was diagnosed with melanoma. She and Ray would travel to most holy of places in the Islamic world, including Mecca, to pray for her health. Upon their return to the United States, they were rudely detained by TSA in a narrative that seems all too common for people with Muslim names. The following week the Mahmoods had the opportunity to share their experience with then-Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff, cautioning that what they went through would not be good for the American children of Muslims who might take offense. The following year, Chertoff was the feature speaker at the Iftar dinner.
This year on July 27th, the Chertoffs joined the Mahmoods yet again to welcome various faiths to the banks of the Potomac. As the clock struck 8:24 p.m., the call to prayer was sung by Imam Mohamed Magid, the President of the Islamic Society of North America (ISNA). Following an invitation largely orchestrated by the women, His Excellency Ambassador of Israel Michael Oren was the special guest. In a room full of politicians, corporate representatives, and even CNN’s Wolf Blitzer, Ambassador Oren spoke on the importance of community. Since the Mahmoods have begun this tradition, the Departments of Defense, Homeland Security, State, and even the Embassy of Israel have hosted interfaith Iftars.
Shaista’s educational work is not just motivated by religious tolerance. She is a powerful supporter of children and women’s rights. After a friend introduced her to Aschiana, a non-profit organization for street children in Afghanistan, Shaista hosted the first Aschiana fundraiser. In a single evening, they raised $270,000. One young woman, now a successful entrepreneur, was deeply inspired, and wrote a $50,000 check on the spot, recalling her upbringing as a street child. Also on the educational front, Shaista sits down with anyone who wants to listen to discuss Muslim women. She has gathered Ambassadors’ wives to casually interact and talk in a Muslim women’s dialogue, inspiring others to host and discuss issues on the Syrian-Israeli border. After several of these, Shaista was able to convene the Turkish and Israeli’s Ambassadors wives during a tense diplomatic moment: “I believe woman to woman, it is very easy to talk.”
In Shaista’s immaculate kitchen with sweeping views of the water sits a baby’s high chair. Political events will come and go, but Shaista is always ready for family.
